“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.  Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.””

~ Romans 12:17-19

Have you ever found yourselves in situations with individuals where:  no matter what you did, or how hard you tried ~ you could not find their favor?  Perhaps a challenging conflict has left you spinning, with no evidence that the other party wishes to mend or reconnect.    Or maybe you are met with indifference…  or feel that you have been misunderstood?  

All of us have experienced strained relationships ~ and most of us have had broken relationships that never healed right.  If we search for answers within ourselves, our confidence can take a nose dive as we claim failure and defeat.

I read an article written by Amy Weathers years ago that so cleverly explained how trying to please everyone is impossible… by design.

A quote from “I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-Fil-A Sauce”:

“God didn’t make you to be loved by everyone. He didn’t make you to be one-size-fits-all and generic and boring. He did not send you to this earth so you could please all the people. He did not create you to be popular or to be invited to all the parties or to be included in every group text. He made you to love Him and to follow Him and to carry out His very specific purpose by being your very own distinct flavor.”

(Find the full article here: https://herviewfromhome.com/i-cant-be-everyones-chick-fil-a-sauce ).   

To some: being worthy to give and receive love is dependent on self-confidence.  Seeking higher self confidence can be an ever dangling carrot of attaining human perfection ~ which of course is not possible. 

Thankfully, we can have a different measure of relational success if we shift our confidence to the One Who loves perfectly.  By following in Jesus’ footsteps:  we will learn to actively love without mirroring, and will see how we can purposefully “hold the door” of our hearts open as we stand ready for reconciliation.

Our self-perceived worth was never meant to be the barometer of how we love others.  God is the only source of learning to love, and His love involves sacrifice… absent of selfishness.

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

~ John 3:16

Jesus, while hanging on the cross… in painful anguish, after being beaten and ridiculed… asked God to forgive the men who were actively killing Him.  He forgave them “live.”  What if I loved fully ~ even in the face of rejection, gossip, or indifference?  What if my love doesn’t depend on how people treat me… but instead is rooted in being an ambassador for Christ?  What if I assumed they didn’t know the hurt they were causing?  Instead asking God to forgive them, as Jesus did?

“ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

~ Luke 23:34

What if:

•  We had a confidence shift that enabled us to love like Jesus?
• We are merely the “stars” reflecting His love, not dependent on our own fickle self-worth.
• Our focus is continually on Christ: His words, His actions, and those He helped.  
• We shine Christ’s love, even when expecting indifference or rejection.  
• The measure of a successful interaction no longer depends on the other person’s reaction.
• We resist closing our hearts when we feel the familiar pain of rejection/indifference. 
• We encourage others to follow Him… rather than gathering “followers” for ourselves.  
• We cherish the friends and family who are a source of comfort, light, love, and rest.  

When discussing this topic with a friend (who is incredible at displaying Christ-like love)  she spoke about how the Kingdom is all about relationships. The depth of our relationship with God is on full display ~ in the way we relate to others. She also reminded me that this looks like “not only approaching people with love and kindness, but remembering to pray for them.”  

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

~ Matthew 5:43-48

This concept is simple, yet challenging..  With God’s help, and leaning on His confidence, and not our own… we can love others as He loves.